Would you like to hear something gross?  My apartment.  What, that doesn't sound gross?  That's because you can't see it.  Let me assure you, it's not a pretty sight.  Why do things get dirty again just as soon as I clean them?  I mean I cleaned the bathroom like....  two months ago.  Oh.  That might be part of the problem.   Time moves so quickly when I'm not cleaning and ever so slowly when I am...

What'd you say?  My in-laws will be on my doorstep in one week?  From today?  Oh, that's ok, I plan on cloning myself at least five times before then.  

Today is a day filled with midterms, which means I'm officially halfway through this semester. I have always felt that October is a long stretch in school and coming to the end of it feels like such an accomplishment! Before I know it, it will be Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and then a long much-deserved break before spring semester. My first specialty year has brought with it some challenges but over all, I feel much more comfortable here this time around. Maybe I do belong here. Maybe I will make a good nurse practitioner. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing!

I am looking forward to next semester, when I'll get to be in clinical practicing all the information I've learned so far in a much more hands on way. For now though, I'm enjoying where I am now, the beautiful fall, and the extra time I have to get a little sewing done.

Our hunt for the perfect pumpkin this year turned into quite an adventure since we failed to check the closing time before driving out to the farm.  We got there five minutes before closing time, which means there was a mad dash through the thoroughly picked over pumpkin patch. You can see the triumph in their faces, can't you?  
Afterwards we had an awesome carving party.  I will post a picture of my very scary pumpkin just as soon as I light it up and take one.

Yesterday, a friend and I went on an adventure to the beach in Milford.  It was a perfect day for it.    The sun was out and the air was just starting to smell crisp and delicious.  We found many interesting things by the water, but the strangest thing by far was this placenta-like jellyfish:


Notice that it's bigger than her hand.  Isn't that gross and fascinating?!  And doesn't it look exactly like a placenta?  If you don't know what a placenta looks like, Google Image it and you'll get an eye full.  Then all you will be able to think about is how much this jellyfish looks like all those pictures.  Seriously.  

On our way home, we stopped by the JoAnn's superstore and spent a couple of hours there.  In light of the outrageous travel expenses this holiday season, we're making a lot of our Christmas gifts this year.   It will give me something productive to do when I need a study break and homemade gifts means you love someone, right?  Also, it's fun.  No need to worry about receiving any decorative knit bunnies, though.  I'm doing my best to make presents that I think that particular person will like and get some use out of.  Rest easy, family!

Did you ever have a moment that just seemed so bizarre you wondered how you ever ended up there?  I experienced just such a moment earlier today while conducting my first prostate exam.  Five years ago, I never could have imagined myself paying tens of thousands of dollars in order to learn how to properly stick my finger up a strange man's backside.  Sometimes life is so weird.

I've been a very busy girl lately, and it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. I spent most of my weekend pouring over books, trying to at least catch up to where I'm supposed to be and refreshing my math memory for my Statistics test. Sunday evening was soccer night at Sunday Sports and we had an awesome game in the park. Some guys from Russia joined in and then a friend from an earlier game showed up with his three kids and the four of them played with us, too. Having people from different programs and of different ages gave me a real sense of community. It was a little crowed with 19 of us, but it was worth it to feel good about this little city for a while.

Frail, exhausted, struggling
To be the father, the spouse, the friend.
Grasping old roles
To fill your empty hands.

Good hearts seek our your statistics.
In the fight to save your life
There are no people, only uniforms.
They are their scrubs; you are your gown.
It's nothing personal.


But I see you.
Not the chart or the tubes.
Not the harsh white sheets
Hanging on your bones.

I see your sacred blue eyes
Scared, lonely, proud.
I see your tanned face, wise lines set
From many good years.
All so out of place in this strange new world;
Seeking something familiar.

Rest easy.
You will be my friend, my spouse, my father.
Grasp my hand.

Breathe.

Tell me your story.