I am finally done with this semester at school! It was a little rough in the end, but I came out okay. The apartment didn't make out as well as I did. With Kevin off pouting about winter and me off pouting about finals, it's taken quite a hit. I did finally clean the bathroom yesterday (that was a gruesome affair) and I got the laundry done (Kevin needs clothes while I'm away) but I was too busy wrapping presents the rest of the day to do anymore. That's right - presents! One of the many preparations I've been making for my trip back to Missouri. I'm hoping to get a little more done around the house before I go, but I've still got to pack and I told my friend Chris I'd help him and his girl move into their new apartment this afternoon. Then tomorrow Kevin and I are celebrating Christmas since he'll be working on the actual day. Tomorrow afternoon we're having a holiday celebration with some people from school (which I have to make some apple cobbler for - one more thing on the list!). The apartment may just have to wait until I get back.

Snow!

We woke up this morning and everything outside was covered in snow. It was lovely. I made banana cinnamon pancakes and scrambled eggs and we spent the day inside, playing cards and keeping warm. We would watch people outside going to class and we were so glad we had the day off! By the afternoon, most of the snow had melted, so I convinced Kevin to take a walk with me outside. I missed my weekly hike for the first time all semester, and I had cabin fever. It was a little colder out than we were expecting. I think we made it one block before Kevin dragged me back to the apartment. I made him take a picture with me, and although the sun was shining and it was a really beautiful day, if you look at the photo above, you can see he's saying "I hate it here." He's not so much a fan of winter.

I had to leave clinical early yesterday because I wasn't feeling well, and I missed it completely today. Luckily, my preceptor is an incredibly understanding woman and encouraged me to get some rest and not to worry about making it up. Thank goodness. I've had a sore throat and chest pains for about three days and both keep getting worse, so I finally went into the doctor today, where I was diagnosed with a virus, which caused the sore throat and also caused costochondritis, which is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects my ribs to my sternum. I looked it up onlineand found out it can be "exquisitely" painful and can last four to eight weeks. Awesome! My doctor failed to mention those two little facts. So cross your fingers for me that I make it through the next few weeks. So far, this has not been fun.

I never told anyone this, but I cried on my wedding day because he wasn't there to watch me walk down the asile. I don't remember him as much as I want to, but I think he would have liked Kevin.

I had a dream once that I saw him in Grandma Mary's backyard. He looked so healthy, so happy. I told him how much I missed him. He said he missed me too, that he missed all of us. He asked how we were. I looked back at the house and I could see everyone through the windows gathered around the table in the dining room, talking and playing cards. His picture was displayed prominently on the wall. "We're fine," I said. "We've been fine." I saw that he was looking at everyone, too. He watched for a moment and smiled at me. Then he was gone.

Sometimes I see his picture on my wall and I miss him so much. I always think of that dream. I know it wasn't real, but I cling to it because maybe... maybe it was.